...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
