the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
