so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
