3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
