I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
