I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
