It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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