Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
