Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
