I'm drive I can fine osifer
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Randomize
