you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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