Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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