Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
