we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
