I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
