I wanna bring you to show and tell
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
