I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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