he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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