We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
