why didn't you poke me back
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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