I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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