I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
