i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize