There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
