Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
