i barfeds in our rink
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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