My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
