"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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