It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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