Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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