are you still at the devil's house?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You pole danced in your parka.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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