That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize