Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
