I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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