im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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