That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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