she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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