We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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