So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
