He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
