She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
