Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
