i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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