The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
