my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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