Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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