What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
