As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
