it wasn't lemon gatorade
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
