What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
