You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
