remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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