My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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