I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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