just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
