we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
