So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
