On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she peed on how many people?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
