Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
