It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
