yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
