Midget sex pt 2 tonight
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
